Freakin' Out

My sister and I like to take turns freakin' out. Usually, it is around 10:00 am or 10:00 pm that panic sets in. There are three reasons we freak out: family, family and family. Ok, and sometimes bodily functions, but that is privileged information. Now, you may be thinking that I ought to tread lightly on the issues of family, but in true Duncan woman fashion, I will dive right in.

First, most freak-outs revolve around our children. What can I say? They make us crazy, we make them crazy, and the cycle continues. Secondly, we freak out about men or lack there-of in our lives. I should say, she complains about her man and I complain about my lack there-of. Finally, we complain about immediate family members. As I say often, "In a family with five children, even if two or three people are mad at you the majority is still on your side." So, we talk each other through the drama. Sometimes, on a rare occasion, the drama is between the two of us. I know that it is hard to imagine that two such perfect women should ever find fault in one another, but it happens on rare occasions.

My most recent freak out was only a night ago. Right around ten Laura received a hysterical phone call from me bemoaning how unattractive and lonely I am. She was fantastic, I must say, and in top form. She not only assured me of my fine physical features, but had her husband add emphasis from the background. At this point, we have made comforting and sympathy into a kind of art. There is the quick assurances, followed by the timely humor and finished with a comparison to our own situation. It goes something like this:

"Michelle, you are so good looking. The last time I saw you I was jealous because you looked so hot in those jeans (the assurance). I mean, if you were hotter I would have had to splash wine on you or something so you would have to change out of those jeans (timely humor). Seriously, the last time I looked that hot in jeans was several children ago (the comparison to show sympathy and make me feel better)." This cycle is repeated on a weekly basis, back and forth with fantastic results. In fact, the sanity of all other relationships rests upon our ability to keep each other in balance.

I will take this moment to say that I am thankful for my sister. I can honestly say that she is a wonderful sister (the assurance), she is only surpassed in beauty by myself (the joke), and that I would walk across hot coals to trade my stubs and frail hair for her never ending legs and thick, beautiful hair (the comparison).

On Becoming an Aunt and Other Such Things

Well, 10 years ago I became an aunt. I was with my sister when she first went into labor. We were obsessed with General Hospital at the time, Lucky in particular, and refused to let the onset of labor get in the way. After driving me home herself she was finally convinced to head to the hospital. When I went into labor with Gloria I was equally stubborn, refusing to leave for the hospital until I could eat the ribs my mother-in-law had been cooking.

While my sister was making bold statements about motherhood, I was making bold statements of my own. As maid of honor at her wedding I confidently declared, "I don't do peach" as my sister tried to find a beautiful bridesmaids dress for me. When Abby was born, I wanted her to refer to me as Aunt, pronounced like "Ont," in a more British fashion. I was fortunate that the opportunities for me to give my opinion were rare, and so my sister was able to take the lead. I certainly learned from her experiences, and made my share of mistakes too. When we were much younger I told my whole family that "I only do women's work, like cooking, cleaning and taking care of babies." This got me out of mowing the lawn, but I am now eating those words. When I was in junior high, I watched as my best friend wedged her way into a baby swing only to have the firemen called to get her out. Just an hour ago, this scenario repeated itself with my niece, Hannah. So, apparently I am not the quickest learner.

As for laundry, I am always on top of it. I like to put a load into the wash and then start prepping for dinner. By the time the first load is coming out of the dryer I have everything ready to go. The second load gives me an opportunity to vacuum and dust everything, as well as to steam clean the furniture. If you didn't catch it already, I am dripping with sarcasm. I think one of the best things our mom taught us was that things don't need to be perfect to be good. So, we find happiness in the small victories like fresh sheets on the bed, that magical moment when the sink is free of dirty dishes, and when our children actually do something useful instead of destructive.

As a final note, I decided to keep my mom "young" by moving back in with her. Sometimes I like to pick up the phone while she is talking to someone long distance and incessantly ask, "Are you off yet?" Thus far, I think it has also served only to keep her annoyed.

Abby turns 10!!

Today is my daughter Abby's 10th birthday! It is also marks quite a bit of "firsts" in our family. August 12th, 1998 was the day I became a mother and my mother became a Grandmother and my Grandmother became Great!

I can't believe that it has been 10 years, and looking back I absolutely believe how much I have grown up. The things that I thought would be important details to raising children, really have not been that big of a deal.
When I was pregnant with little Abigail Rose, I spent a lot of time at my Uncle Dave and Aunt Sue's house. I must remark here how patient my Aunt was and I am sure that somewhere in her head she was rolling her eyes (being a mom of four) at my declarations of what I would and would not do with my child. One of these moments distinctly sticks out in my mind. I was talking with my Aunt and telling her how I thought pacifiers were so unattractive in babies and that I would never use one. Now fast forward to me with a baby that nursed so voraciously, I had dreams I gave birth to a barracuda. I merely glanced at the pacifier and before I knew I what I was doing it was in Abby's mouth. Well, that is mostly true. I did know what I was doing - I was crying and pleading for her to accept this substitution because I just couldn't take much more. I should tell you that I wasn't even out of the hospital yet and already my earlier conviction that I so confidently declared to my Aunt Sue, flew right out the window. This was only the first of many.

I remember when my sister was pregnant with Gloria. She was much wiser with her words. I do not recall her making bold statements such as "I will never use baby talk as a way to communicate with my child" or "Only organic, sugar free food will touch my baby's lips". I would like to think I gave her that wisdom, but I suspect that it's all her.

Now I am a mother of five, like my own Mom. I understand so much more now. I used to wonder why my Mom could never keep the laundry under control, I mean come on, what did she do with her time? Her nails? Finishing up that novel? Now I know that she had no time, not to her self anyway. I have a pretty good picture of exactly what she was doing. Sometimes when I visit home I wait for her to go to the washroom, then I bang on the door and yell Mom repeatedly in a whiny voice. I think it keeps her young. As it turns out, it keeps her annoyed.

Presently, I am the proud owner of my own huge pile of laundry and for the life of me I can't figure out why Mom doesn't come over and help me with it. I should have never let her teach me how.

Laura continues.....

Ahhh, Michelle, you just had to mention the passion pit. Shivers are commencing. I am almost unable to go on. But I shall.
I have learned the value of commitment from both my parent's, sometimes that is what staying together comes down to, but it also great place to start. These 25 years have had some rough spots, to say the least but I am going to just put it all out there and say that they have come through them with grace and sometimes super human strength. I have learned to fiercely defend and protect my children from their example. I have learned to see the humor in a lot of disheartening situations. I am still learning from them.
Now I am not as lucky as Michelle to be living with them, and witness all that lovin' first hand, but on occasion I too have witnessed a stolen kiss or two. My Dad will still tell me from time to time how beautiful Mom is and Mom will talk about Dad's "feats of strength" , as I like to call them, and neither one of them are under the influence of any sort of alcoholic beverage!! Now that to me is just plain sweet, until you remember they invented the passion pit.

Duncan's on 25 years of marriage. . .

Today our parent's have been married for 25 years. It is nothing short of a miracle, a wonderful miracle, but pretty strange just the same. Mom was relating the story of how my dad would compete against another guy in the church to see who could make it across the gym walking on their hands. For being an intellectual mom definitely "gets the vapors" when she sees a strong man. Laura inherited that gene, and can become equally incompasitated by bulging muscles and a tight t-shirt. I definitely got a different gene - prefering anyone tall, pale and who doesn't mind crying with me once in awhile. In fact, I dated this guy Eric in high school who I thought of as skinny and generally weak, when he suddenly sprung the fact on me that he played football. I did a double-take as realized that he was actually kind of built. That was the beginning of the end. Don't get me wrong, I don't like feminine men, I just am not easily impressed by muscles.

Ok, that wandered a far way away from my parent's anniversary. Suffice it to say that the love is still in the air for my parents. They are about as different as night and day, but they have taught us to be patient, to honor promises, to set boundaries, and to love unconditionally. Lucky for me I am living at home and am privy to their gross make out sessions. They are not shy about getting all oogy with each other. Laura can back me up on the shiver that goes down eveyone's spine at the mention of the "passion pit."

Getting the Party Started

Hello, this is the blog of the (Duncan) sisters. We plan to give commentary, advice, and general amusement for the populace!