Freakin' Out

My sister and I like to take turns freakin' out. Usually, it is around 10:00 am or 10:00 pm that panic sets in. There are three reasons we freak out: family, family and family. Ok, and sometimes bodily functions, but that is privileged information. Now, you may be thinking that I ought to tread lightly on the issues of family, but in true Duncan woman fashion, I will dive right in.

First, most freak-outs revolve around our children. What can I say? They make us crazy, we make them crazy, and the cycle continues. Secondly, we freak out about men or lack there-of in our lives. I should say, she complains about her man and I complain about my lack there-of. Finally, we complain about immediate family members. As I say often, "In a family with five children, even if two or three people are mad at you the majority is still on your side." So, we talk each other through the drama. Sometimes, on a rare occasion, the drama is between the two of us. I know that it is hard to imagine that two such perfect women should ever find fault in one another, but it happens on rare occasions.

My most recent freak out was only a night ago. Right around ten Laura received a hysterical phone call from me bemoaning how unattractive and lonely I am. She was fantastic, I must say, and in top form. She not only assured me of my fine physical features, but had her husband add emphasis from the background. At this point, we have made comforting and sympathy into a kind of art. There is the quick assurances, followed by the timely humor and finished with a comparison to our own situation. It goes something like this:

"Michelle, you are so good looking. The last time I saw you I was jealous because you looked so hot in those jeans (the assurance). I mean, if you were hotter I would have had to splash wine on you or something so you would have to change out of those jeans (timely humor). Seriously, the last time I looked that hot in jeans was several children ago (the comparison to show sympathy and make me feel better)." This cycle is repeated on a weekly basis, back and forth with fantastic results. In fact, the sanity of all other relationships rests upon our ability to keep each other in balance.

I will take this moment to say that I am thankful for my sister. I can honestly say that she is a wonderful sister (the assurance), she is only surpassed in beauty by myself (the joke), and that I would walk across hot coals to trade my stubs and frail hair for her never ending legs and thick, beautiful hair (the comparison).